“You’re Abroad, You Must Be Doing Well” — The Silent Struggles of Immigrants

You’re Abroad, You Must Be Doing Well” — The Silent Struggles of Immigrants

When people think of immigrants living abroad, the story often starts and ends with the same sentence:

“They made it.”

Back home, the image is clear—photos in warm jackets during winter, shiny city lights, supermarket aisles filled with abundance, maybe even a car in the background. The assumption is automatic: they’re doing well. Thriving, even.

But behind that image is a reality that very few talk about. And it’s time we did.

You’re Not Just Living for Yourself Anymore

Once you leave your home country, your life is no longer just your own. You carry not just your suitcase but the dreams, needs, and expectations of entire families. You may be 7,000 miles away, but you’re still expected to pay school fees, hospital bills, and contribute to weddings and funerals—many of which you won’t even be able to attend.

The pressure is subtle at first. A message:

“When you get the chance, could you help with this small thing?”

Then another:

“I know you’re busy, but just this one time…”

It adds up. And it weighs heavily.

Pretending to Be Okay When You’re Not

Many immigrants live double lives. One that they live, and one that they share with people back home.

In one life, they’re working 12-hour shifts, skipping meals to save money, facing racism, or battling loneliness.

In the other, they’re smiling in selfies and saying: “Everything is good!”

Because who do you tell that you’re struggling when you’re supposed to be the success story? Who do you call when you’re the one they call in emergencies?

So you swallow it. You fake it. Because the disappointment in someone’s voice when you say, “I can’t help right now,” hurts more than the exhaustion itself.

They Get Caught Between Two Worlds

You begin to change. Your accent might shift. Your worldview expands. You learn to survive in a new culture, and sometimes, that means letting go of parts of the old one. But when you return home, people might say:

“You’ve changed.”

“You’re too proud now.”

“You forgot where you came from.”

The truth? You’re just trying to find a balance between honoring your roots and building a future. And it’s not easy.

You Start to Feel Guilty For Wanting More.

Some immigrants dare to dream for themselves—maybe go back to school, start a small business, or even take a break. But often, that dream has to wait.

There’s an unspoken rule: “Take care of everyone else first.” And if you don’t, you’re labeled selfish. So you push your own desires to the side, hoping one day, the time will come when you can finally rest, finally breathe.

What the World Needs to Understand is that Immigrants are not just walking dollar signs or success stories waiting to be envied. They are human beings—exhausted, hopeful, and deeply torn.

They love their families. They carry their homes in their hearts. But they also need space to grow, fall, and rise again without the constant weight of unrealistic expectations.

If you know someone who’s abroad, check in on them—not for help, not for money, but just to ask, “How are you really doing?” That simple question could mean more than you’ll ever know.

To every immigrant reading this:

You are not selfish for trying to survive.

You are not weak for being tired.

And you are not alone.

Your strength may be quiet, but it is powerful.

Your sacrifices may be unseen, but they are real.

And your life matters, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.